Paris Hilton’s New Beer Commercial: Too Sexy For… Brazil?
Apparently, Paris Hilton's new beer commercial is too racy for the Brazilian government and they'd like to have it pulled from the air. And while I'm typically all for movements to have Paris Hilton removed from television, I find myself conflicted on this issue. Maybe because beer is involved.
This angers me on so many levels. First, I'm siding with Paris Hilton and I can't tell you how much that aggravates me. Any woman who can't keep her vagina unexposed while exiting a vehicle shouldn't get to ride in one. And what exactly is it that she's showing off? It looks as if someone kicked a Big Mac and left it in the sun for 3 days. She needs to put that thing away before it swallows someone's pet.
Horrifying crotch aside, I'm a little miffed at the Brazilian Secretariat of Women's Affairs. She says the ad for Devassa Beer devalues women, "particularly blonde women." And while I don't disagree that the ad devalues women, most of your ads devalue women, crazy lady. Why draw the line here?
The company couldn't be reached for comment. They were probably too busy giggling and toasting their brilliant decision to make this commercial. Because as history has taught us, nothing brings attention to something less than when you point at it and scream for its banishment. "This commercial devalues women. That's why everyone in the world must watch it. Look at it!"
Way to champion your cause, crazy lady.
Here's the commercial and I'm not sure what the big deal is. I've seen Brazilian baby food commercials hotter than this. It's a little racy, sure, but it's got Paris Hilton in it. What do you expect? Just to be safe, you may want to hide your pet.
Would I want to show this at a children's birthday party? Obviously not. But I see nothing worse than a Go Daddy commercial and plenty of kids saw one of those during the Super Bowl. Then again, this is Brazil we're talking about. We know how conservative they can be when it comes to sexuality.
Here's their argument: Brazil has a little rule that says beer commercials can't portray women as overtly sensual objects. Oh. I get it. But… why beer? You're saying it's okay to use a woman as an overtly sensual object to sell everything other than beer? I'm pretty sure that's insane. One more question: Then what the hell is this?
Ummm… remember that thing you said about using woman in an overtly sensual way to sell beer? And that thing you said about "particularly blonde women," much like the one humping that guy's leg in this last beer commercial?
You just don't like our favorite ho. Admit it. Why grandstand on principle and your pseudo-devaluing of women platform? And worse, put me in a position where I feel inclined to defend Paris Hilton? Damn you, Brazil. Damn you. This will not stand.
If I'm right, and you are just trying to damage the career and good name of our most beloved amateur porn star for nothing more than your own personal feelings, then I'm sorry to have bothered you.
